


Vampire's Morals and Mortals

by charming_murderess



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dark, F/F, Light Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 21:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2596610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charming_murderess/pseuds/charming_murderess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla Karnstein has lived for almost four centuries. In all her life, she has only fallen in love with one person and she was brutally taken away from her. For a normal person, this would teach you a major lesson in life to never hold anything so precious. But then she met Laura Hollis and suddenly, maybe, the pain and suffering might just be worth it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So Many Nouns and Hateful Things

**Author's Note:**

> This is an un-beta'd work-in-progress. Constructive criticisms are very welcome.

She was unsettling, to say the least. The way the world moved around her despite her not belonging in the waking world. She was the epitome of everything against nature but she was also the most beautiful thing that has ever existed in it; a walking contradiction. She served no purpose to the living nor the dead. But then again, nobody serves purpose to anything, really. 

But Carmilla Karnstein would argue these facts. There was only one thing she deemed that of an ungodly beauty and it was 'Ell'. Truth be told, that wasn't even her real name. Until now, it is still unspeakable to her. Thankfully, that heavenly name is no longer as popular in the current age. Just thinking about it tugs at the vampire's heart. 

Ell was single-handedly the most beautiful sight she has ever seen. And in her centuries of living, she still is. The girl's hair was dark and lustrous, her eyes promised that of endless springs that Carmilla wished she could enjoy. Her skin was forever kissed by sunlight and that smile—dear god—that smile. It was a smile she would gladly die for. The memories of her laughter still linger in her dreams and Carmilla is only thankful she can still hear it. What should've been such an easy target led ultimately to her demise. Her only regret was that she could not save her. 

She sighed. Her eyes landed on the sleeping form of her human companion. She feels for this girl. Whatever it is she feels for her, she isn't quite sure anymore. Laura... is different. She is not necessarily breathtaking but she is beautiful all the same. She is smart and determined and very loyal to a fault. Carmilla is certain that this time, she will not let anything harm this human. Not in this physical world, not in her nightmares, not even in the face of her terrifying mother. 

Nervous fingers began to reach for the sleeping human but she drew it back at the last moment, afraid that it might wake her. Carmilla looked out at the darkened skies and made a resolution. She would not let her selfishness get the best of her.

 

"Oooh! I am so excited!" Claimed Perry as she barged into dorm 307 quite unannounced. Thank goodness her grumpy roommate wasn’t in or she’d get an earful. Laura had been working on a paper that was due at the end of the semester and she wasn't gonna let this evil-fighting thing get in the way with it. Besides, she already failed one test. "You get excited about a lot of things," chimed in La Fontaine as she trailed behind the dorm chief. 

"Yes! But this is the first thing that's been normal lately. I can help her get settled in, tell her where her classes are, give her a few notes—" confused, Laura turned around.

"Wait, what the heck are you talking about?"

"Oh, have you not heard? We have a new student. And she is such a sweet soul." Perry released a hopeful sigh, almost as if wishing she was with the aforementioned student. 

"Uhm, excuse me, would you please like to take your daydreaming into a separate room?" Laura could sense the hostility coming from La Fontaine, although she is almost quite certain it isn't because what Perry is saying is inaccurate. 

"Oh, quit it, you two." Laura decided she was better off saving her work because this is all about as far as she is gonna get with these two in her room. "I have way too much to worry about my classes and I can't have you having your love-quarrel in here."

"What love quarrel—?" 

"OH! That reminds me, Laura, would you be such a dear and take Elizabeth with you to your classes tomorrow?" La Fontaine's query is overlooked as Laura answers Perry.  
"Sure. But—how in the world is she just joining us now? She would have a crap-ton of paperwork and all-nighters to do in order to catch up."

"Well, she used to attend a Silas sister-school and a tragic incident happened so the university had set up a very special program to accommodate her. Isn’t that just so nice of them? Her life is that of a Shakespearean romance." 

"What? More like a dark tragedy." La Fontaine has had quite enough. "Whatever, I'm gonna do something else. I'm outta here."

Laura was going to say good bye, but Perry was relentless.

"I read her whole file last night. Her full name is Elizabeth L. Ashcroft and she’s an only child. She speaks 7 different languages fluently and has pretty much excelled in every aspect of life there is. She volunteers at least 6 hours a week and maintains a 4.0 GPA. She is also into theatre. She is my spirit animal."

The blonde had to take a deep breath. Wow. That's a lot of things to do. This girl had the time to learn to speak 7 different languages while maintaining her GPA and saving the world. And here she is unable to pass a single fucking exam. Way to throw that out there, Perry.

"Wow." Damn.

"Yeah." Double damn.

"Alright." 

"...so you'll take her right? To your class?" Laura nodded. Of course, why wouldn't she? As if she needed anything else to make her feel smaller than she already does.

"Of course!" 

 

The figure of the ever-brooding vampire appeared at the door while Laura was still on her laptop trying to finish what she can of her paper. That new arrival has made Laura nervous. After their chat, Perry couldn't stop talking about her and the next thing Laura knew, they were out at a local coffee shop with the girl more gorgeous than the sun itself. She thought she couldn't feel any more plebeian and then a goddess comes along and makes her feel as insignificant as a single molecule of dust in a desert. 

"Hey, cupcake. Whatchu up to?" Her wonderful vampire roommate had re-filled her cocoa cup as she helped herself to her human juice. Said vampire sat herself on top of her bed, digging for the novel she had been reading.

"Nothing, just doing a paper." Ugh. This cocoa is so good.

"Hmmm. Fun." Carmilla replied, disinterested. Looking up, a sudden realization dawned on Laura.

"How come I never see you studying or doing papers or whatnot? Aren't you posing to be a student?"

"Yes," without looking up, the brunette answered. "I am, which coincidentally, also means that I've taken just about every course they offer in this university in more years than you've had in your lifetime. So." She  
looked up at her, smirking. To that, Laura could only respond by sticking her tongue out. Maturity is so overrated. Carmilla let out an amused chuckle.

"Done anything else fun today, sweetheart?" She flipped a page. She was back to her reading.

"Uhm, nothing really." A pause. Then Laura released an angry sigh. "Actually, I did do something. But it wasn't fun. I mean, I guess it was. I don't want you to think that I'm usually this mean. But—something about that girl just didn't rub with me quite right." At this, Carmilla was interested. 

"What girl?" 

"Well," Laura moved her hands exasperatedly, not knowing how to handle having negative feelings about a person she barely knows. Somehow, she thought sitting on a vampire's bed was a better idea, forcing the vampire to sit up and tuck her perfect legs underneath herself. "She's... she's new here. I guess. She attended a sister university, Perry said. But she's too-perfect. It doesn't seem right." 

Carmilla watched her struggle in her actions. She found it quite amusing.

"Really? Someone else is more perfect than you are? How is that even possible?" Laura glared at her for the sarcastic tone. 

"Ugh, you are so rude. This is why we never share anything with each other!" At this, Carmilla laughed as Laura extracted herself from her bed. 

"And this is my pillow!" She snatched the yellow pillow away from the vampire and returned to her seat. Stupid vampire. Why did she ever think it was okay for them to talk to each other like normal roommates?


	2. Offer Expires Every 30 Minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an un-beta'd work-in-progress. Constructive criticisms are highly encouraged.

The vampire was still sleeping when Laura returned to her room. She had brought Elizabeth with her not only to one class, but to three, which was basically another way of saying that she spent the whole day wishing she was someone else. The girl was practically a saint. Not once did she mention anything that made Laura feel intimidated or of a lower stature, which made Laura feel even worse because she really wanted a reason to dislike her. The girl quoted Shakespeare so accurately that Laura was sure she had artificial intelligence. No one was that perfect.

  
Laura had dropped her book bag on its proper location (unlike a certain roommate of hers) and made herself some cocoa. As she walked towards her laptop it did not miss her attention that her yellow pillow was missing again. She gave an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. How predictable.

  
Choosing to ignore Carmilla's mess, Laura proceeded to turn on her laptop and check on doing more research. And also probably work more on that paper. She gave off a disgusted grunt.

Carmilla awoke from the bustling in the room. The resident nerd was back. For a moment she studied the shadows of the light from the windows and deduced that it was more than ample enough time for her to get up. She rolled herself out of her bed and poured a glass of 'soy milk' on a cup. Nothing like a little bit of hemoglobin to get your day started, right?

  
"Hey, buttercup." She greeted after she's had a few sips of the sweet nectar of the devil on her way to the bathroom.

  
"Hey," Laura answered without looking up. Carmilla gave her a small glance but ultimately brushed her mood off. She wasn't in a state yet that she can handle someone else's day not going so well.  
When she was finally finished in the bathroom, she returned, her blood cup empty.

"So why is that pout on your face?"

"What? I'm not pouting." The blonde responded, pouting even more.

"Sure."

"Don't you have somewhere else to be? Someone else to bug? Another 'study partner' to mess with?" Alright. She wasn't giving up the goods. Carmilla couldn't be bothered to look even further.

"Alright, bye." And with that, she walked out of the room.

 

She put her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket, walking aimlessly, studying the hallway. She thought of all the little lives of all the girls who lived in these small rooms. Their lifetimes were insignificant in comparison to theirs but at least they move on. Her? Different setting, different scheme, still the same role. She hated it. She didn't want to do it but what choice does she really have? Her enemy was so ancient she could compare to gods, what else is she supposed to do?

Carmilla's eyes flicked sideways for a second, her peripherals having caught sight of a ghost. She could swear what she saw was Ell, but that's impossible. She may not know what her mother did to the girls she took, but sending them to a university to pursue higher education was definitely not one of them. Carmilla did not see the girl emerge again and so she kept walking. Maybe her demons had finally caught up with her. She wasn't really sure that she was trying to run away from them either.

 

It was past 3 am when Carmilla reappeared in her domicile. She smirked at the hunched over form of Laura in front of her laptop. The poor girl doesn't even have enough energy to fight off sleep. Thankfully, Carmilla's heard nothing from her mother yet. But ‘no news is good news’ only exists in the military. Radio silence from an enemy means an even bigger heist. Damn it.

She got herself a glass of 'soy milk' and carefully approached Laura. "Hey, sweetheart," she whispered, giving the girl a little caress to wake her up. Laura grunted but she stirred.

"Hey, cupcake," Carmilla cooed, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Go to bed. It's pretty late." Laura nodded, eyes half-open, and complied. The vampire led her to her bed and tucked her in.

Moments like these are moments she shouldn't have. These are the stolen moments that will haunt her as long as she lives and that is proving to be an incredibly long time. Another mournful sigh took her as she finished the rest of her drink and decided to let slumber entrap her for the night.

 

_The music echoed through the whole theater as young women danced with sharp precision and grace on stage. The audience sat in awe and admiration as the music tempo changed to mark the finale of the play. Carmilla sat amongst them, her eyes only trained to a single person. The performance was timeless and perhaps the best yet._

_Lights and shadows danced on her skin as they touched them. Her back curved perfectly in an arch, dropping with such confidence of not falling. She performed her moves; a bourrée, chaînés tournes, a chassé. Words Carmilla had begun to pick up and learn during her private rehearsals where she watched her lover say these words out loud to herself. Another dancer emerged, gracefully taking her into his arms before raising her and spinning her, as if rescuing her from the tides of ballerinas reaching for her. The arch of her neck beckoned to Carmilla as she knew exactly which spot it was she liked to be kissed. Her partner had placed his lips on her perfect neck as he lowered her, their arms wrapped around each other as they were captured by the tide._

_She emerged again from the group of ballerinas surrounding her but before she could escape they have captured her again. The last image to be seen was that of her being swallowed and her dainty hands reaching for a safety that never came. Then slowly, the group began to move again, gently turning around a figure who began to rise. It was the male dancer and the group of ballerinas gradually loosened their hold on him and eventually, leaving him standing alone on stage._

_The lights went dark. The curtain dropped. The crowd stood in unison as they clapped and cheered their praises. The curtain reopened and the stars returned for their final bow. Carmilla wiped an escaped tear from her eyes. It was damnably beautiful. But it also made her a nervous wreck. How could she possibly take the love of her life from the life she loved? God damn it._

_Carmilla waited outside the theater as the crowd thinned out, a huge bouquet of red roses tucked in her arms. The coat she wore made her look even smaller than she is. As time passed by she wondered if she had changed her mind. Maybe she backed away. Maybe she was right to. Running off with her was crazy. How could she make her drop everything she loved and run away with her then let her know that she had been lying all along? Jesus fucking Christ. Carmilla should just walk away for the both of them. For a brief moment she had the courage to leave this poor girl alone and she knew she had to move now or else she never will. How could she be so selfish?_  
_But just as Carmilla started walking—_

_"Carmilla!" The way her named rolled off her tongue was sweeter than any chocolate ever concocted. Carmilla caught her perfectly and spun her around in the snow. "Cara mia," she whispered before capturing the vampire's cold lips in a searing kiss. In 1872 in Paris, such things didn't happen. But the night was cold and dark and she was so, so beautiful and that is why Carmilla was selfish._

_"Mi belle," she whispered in return as she offered her the half-crushed roses. A small laughter elicited from Lenore's lips before she accepted the roses and kissed her again. Carmilla could not imagine ever spending a day without those lips._

_" Are you ready?" Carmilla asked, their foreheads meeting. Laura smiled and nodded vigorously. Whatever she had to sacrifice to be with Carmilla, she was ready. "Yes," she answered breathlessly as they both began to walk towards the Beaufort estate._

_They were bound to take a ship sailing towards the New World at dawn, where they would live a happy life away from her mother. Where Laura would be safe. Once they reached the Beaufort estate, she broke away from her lover. "Wait for me," she advised as she ran towards her manor entrance from the garden, but not before giving her a kiss._

_"Forever, my love," Carmilla whispered in return as she watched her go towards the door. What she didn’t know was that she was making a promise, true in itself. The vampire looked around and noted how the garden felt emptier, somehow. As if they knew that the most beautiful flower to ever grace them is about to leave. But before she could think any further, her thoughts were disturbed by a blood curdling scream that came from Laura's room. Her senses suddenly heightened. She looked up towards her bedroom window and ran. Carmilla burst through the door and the spectacle that met her eyes has sent her to paralysis._

_“Hello, Mircalla.” The sight of her mother was enough to make the hair on her back stand up in fear. Her skin crawled and her insides wanted to churn themselves._

_Her mother had Laura hanging by her hair, a sadistic sneer on her face as Laura cried for help and mercy. Laura’s feet hung above the floor as she futilely attempted to reach them. Tears stained her beautiful face, slowly turning red from the pressure. Her silent screams tore apart Carmilla’s heart. Her small hands tried reaching for Carmilla’s mother’s but to no avail. Her green eyes met Carmilla's dark ones and all they screamed to her was fear._

_"Mother, please!" Carmilla begged but before she could move an inch, her mother had sunk her teeth deep in Laura's throat and two of her brothers had trapped her. Carmilla had fought to the claw, her vision turning red, as Laura's scream shook the whole night._

_Carmilla felt the weight of a body waning slowly in her arms but the taste of the blood was far too sweet for her to just stop. "Carmi-" her victim gasped with her last breath, her hold on the vampire finally loosening,  Carmilla’s vision slowly began to clear up, and the sound of blood pounding through her eardrums ebbed._

_But the image in front of her switched Carmilla’s head back in gear. Staring back at her were two pools lifeless eyes, the eyes that brought the sun back into her dark life._

_Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. There was blood on her hands and she could still feel taste the tang of blood on her mouth as they lay in the bed where they made love. How could she have done it? How? There was no way. How could she do it?_

_No, no, no, no. She shook Laura, willing the life of her eyes to come back but there was nothing. Once again, she was alone in this world and the only woman she’s ever loved has been taken by her own hands. Her silent cries turned into angry sobs that racked her body as she screamed her heart out into the night._

_"No!!!"_

 

Carmilla shot up in her bed, eyes bloodshot, throat raw from screaming. She looked at her bare, bloodless hands that glowed pale against the moonlight.

"Hey," a voice cooed in the darkness and a pair of arms began to draw comforting motions on her back, drawing her closer. The brunette slumped herself against the warmth around her.

"Shhh, just a dream, Carm. It's just a dream." It was Laura, a live Laura. Headstrong, independent, stubborn and righteous Laura. Just this time, in the comforts of their room, Carmilla allowed herself to be held by someone else. It's been centuries since anyone has held her like this. And she wasn't about to deny herself this one tiny sliver of heaven. This was one piece of heaven she will get to keep for the rest of her existence.

"Thank you," she whispered against Laura's chest, wiping away the stray tear that escaped her eyes. Was this nightmare the beginning of Mother's revenge? Or was this just a reminder for Carmilla to not be so foolish?


	3. Cruelty in Melody

Laura's alarm rang from the other side of the room. The blonde opened one eye before realizing there was a certain vampire sleeping on her arm. Her eyes grew wide in realization that they both probably fell asleep and grumpy vampire is probably not gonna be happy knowing that they slept in one bed because of reasons.

Shit.

The alarm was still going and as tiny Carmilla was, she was rather heavy for her size. Laura wiggled her way out as carefully as she could, not wanting to face the wrath of centuries old vampire. The brunette grunted and grumbled but as Laura rolled out of her bed, she realized with relief that Carmilla had remained asleep. As she moved away she couldn't help but wonder exactly what centuries old vampire dream of. What was that nightmare about? But Laura had no time to wonder. She had a class to get to. ...and a perfect being not to hate.

As Laura finished up, there was a very light, very faint knock on the door. For a second she wasn't even sure if she heard it at all. Grabbing her book bag, she gingerly opened the door only to find Elizabeth with two cups in her hand and not a hair out of place. Great.

"Hi," the other girl said sheepishly in a whisper. "I didn't want to disturb your roommate just in case she was still sleeping but I also wanted to walk with you to class and give you this hot chocolate."

A figure stirred in the background and Elizabeth gasped. "I'm so sorry." Her mouth formed an apologetic smile, although the person she was apologizing to have probably went back sleeping.

"Don't worry about her," Laura dismissed the vampire and closed the door.

Elizabeth was gonna open her mouth again but instead nodded and handed Laura her cup. "I got you the one you ordered from the cafe the other day. I felt bad that you had to be forced to hang out with me and bring me around. I just wanted to make up for it." Laura simply nodded her thanks and wondered how early she has to wake up to get to look like that and have time to buy hot chocolate and come back.

"Thanks, it's not much of a chore, really." Laura kinda half-lied. It wasn't a chore but she doesn't exactly want to do it.

"Are you sure? I know I can be a handful at times." She looked down, feeling like a child and Laura immediately felt bad. There was nothing to hate about her. She just hated feeling that Elizabeth was so effortlessly perfect.

"Trust me, if you knew my roommate, you'd know what a handful was. You're practically an angel in comparison to her."

At this, Elizabeth smiled widely. She looked like a girl who would have a lot of friends. When the duo hit the outside world, they both stopped and smelled the air. It was getting a lot colder and the ground was beginning to swallow up the leaves that has fallen.

"Snow's coming," they said in unison and then looked at each other. Laughter broke from their lips and Laura began to see her in a new light. She let her doubts take her and she had no idea why. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad making friends who don’t know what lurks inside the Silas Campus.

 

The sun sets earlier now as winter comes closer and yet, her roommate is yet to be home. Carmilla looked about through their window to see if she could catch a glimpse of a certain blonde to do avail. She double checked her phone. There were no text messages. She didn't want to be possessive, just careful. She knows her mother would make her move anytime now and it wasn't exactly the best time for Laura to be floundering around alone in the dark. Look where that got her the last time she didn't listen to her father. Now she's some centuries old vampire who pretends to be a college student.

"Ugh," she grunted in resignation and grabbed her leather jacket. She didn't know where she would start looking, but better be proactive than just waiting.  
Having not found a single sign of Laura everywhere she resigned herself to the highest roof in the whole university; the Theater Arts building. She doesn't exactly have eagle eyes vision, but she can recognize Laura's movements and mannerisms.

She inhaled deeply, taking in the cold night air as it filled her dead, barren lungs. Every year this season comes, and every year she is reminded of the one person who was purer than freshly fallen snow. Carmilla looked up at the stars, painfully reminiscing about the love she had lost.

As if on cue, she recognized Laura's short figure waving good bye to an individual at the steps of the very building she sat atop of. She did not see the other person, but she heard Laura's laughter as she walked away.

Something dark began to swell in Carmilla's bosom. Was it Danny that made her smile like that? That doesn't make any sense. She took a few deep breaths and calmed herself. She had no business harboring these feelings for Laura. She already told herself before that these never go anywhere good. She's already lost her world once, she could not risk losing another.

Carmilla's eyes followed Laura’s figure until she reached the dorms. She watched the light in their room turn on. She sighed with relief. Minutes ticked by and Carmilla stayed to where she was, deep in her thoughts. You see, when you have no definite lifetime, time to you is of little importance. Then slowly, a soft music began playing in the piano.

Carmilla recognized the tune. It was from one of the most popular ballets in France. A bitter laugh escaped her throat followed by a soft sob. How fucking ironic that fate plays with her life that. Giselle was a story of an aristocrat haunted by ghosts and is freed from it by his lover. It was also Ell's last performance on stage. She sighed once more, looking up this time, as if talking to a being from above.

"What a twisted sense of humor you have there." Shaking her head, she smiled bitterly and listened until the rest of the music finished.


	4. Dead on Her Feet

Ever since that faithful day of Giselle being played in the music room, it never stopped. Carmilla would come up there at night and the music would always play. There were days when the musician would deviate into other ballet classics and sometimes, even to modern music. Every so often, Carmilla would faintly hear her singing along with a voice morose and lonely. But she always somehow made the music whole. She would observe as the singular light would go out and hear the door close behind her. She would watch a girl walk towards the direction of the dorms.

Carmilla enjoyed these moments of observing a life without taking part in it. She has never seen who the girl was or what she looked like and she'd like to keep it that way. It’s nice, having this kind of connection with someone.

No other girl has been missing and Laura finally has at least 5 hours of sleep at night and they could all go on their lives pretending that everything was okay. For now, Silas University is at peace. Which also caused much alarm for Carmilla. She is quite familiar with the words ‘calm before the storm’ and that’s exactly what this seemed like. She doesn’t know what her mother is planning but she knows it will be something big and regrettable on all parties involved.

The music stopped playing abruptly, taking Carmilla out of her thoughts. This was the first time that the girl didn't finish. Carmilla saw the girl run towards the dorms, as if she had forgotten something. The vampire sighed, resigned. Maybe she should turn in early for the night too.

 

The lights were still on in their room when Carmilla arrived. So for once, she'll use her key. It’ll be fun, she thought. She had been expecting Laura at her computer but certainly not a figure coming towards her.

"Woops!" She heard the figure say but instead of colliding into Carmilla as she'd expected, the figure pirouetted around Carmilla, landing safely behind her.

"Sorry!" The visitor said as soon as she settled. To be honest, Carmilla was quite impressed.

"It's oka—" Carmilla stopped. Her whole body froze, her throat constricted. No. This wasn't-this couldn't-how is this happening? The girl standing in front of her has eyes of spring, her hair a world of endless nights, and her skin glowed of kisses from the sun.

Laura and Elizabeth stood, waiting for her to say something. They eyed each other for a second before Laura finally broke the silence.

"Carmilla!" She said enthusiastically, "This is Elizabeth. That girl I've been talking about in my Lit class." Laura approached her roommate carefully. Maybe she'd been shocked by Elizabeth’s beauty? She wouldn't be the first one left speechless. But then again, maybe Carmilla had been pod-peopled. She did just use her key after all.

"Hi," Elizabeth said with an unsure smile. And it was that smile. It was the smile that could’ve ended the entire universe and she would’ve been forgiven. Carmilla recognized that smile she did when she thought she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t have been. Jesus Christ. It can't be.

Before Carmilla’s brain could process anything else, her world went dark and there was nothing.

 

Laura was worried about her vampire roommate, who decided to do a face palm. Thankfully, Elizabeth had fast enough reflex to catch the vampire before she reached the floor. The blonde couldn’t figure out good reasons why vampires pass out and even Google didn’t give her good options. Maybe she had a bad batch of blood? Can that affect them? Maybe she hasn’t eaten in a while? She couldn’t figure it out. Was Elizabeth so damn gorgeous that a centuries-old vampire just had an aneurysm? Well, whatever it was, she was about to find out.

“Hey,” Laura tentatively greeted the waking vampire.

Carmilla looked about the room in confusion, unsure really of what has happened.

“Here,” a glass of blood was dutifully placed in front of the vampire’s nose. “Drink some.” Carmilla’s dark eyes looked up at Laura, confused but obliging.

“Thanks,” she said as she finished the drink and handed Laura back the glass.

“What happened?”

Laura took the glass and placed it on her computer desk. “Well, you met my friend, Elizabeth, and basically had a brain aneurysm because of her beauty or something.”

Carmilla’s face hardened drastically and Laura gave a notice. “What’s wrong, Carm?”

The vampire swallowed a huge lump in her throat. She never let anyone call her that. That was what Ell called her. “Nothing,” the brunette said, standing. “I’m just gonna head out.” Wordlessly, she grabbed her jacket and left as Laura watched her with worry.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Chapter title adapted from Cornell Woolrich.
> 
> If you're still reading this, thank you! If you just started, thank you, too! I hope you have enjoyed the story so far. Hold on tight for the rest of the ride. It's just begun.


	5. It Ain't the Mark or the Scar that Makes You One

'This is it,' Carmilla thought, 'this is Mother's plan.' "Shit," she whispered under her breath. Carmilla expected a lot of things, but not this. How is it even possible? For so long she thought her mother had killed Ell, but now she's here. She wasn't a vampire, definitely not. So how? Is this even Ell? Does she even know she's Ell? Is she conscious of the plan? How much does she know about Carmilla? What is her mother planning to do?

Carmilla stopped by a coffee shop filled with cramming college students. She found herself a tiny little corner and got herself some coffee to soothe the cold even though it doesn't bother her. She just wanted—needed—time to think. It's not every day that the love of your life comes back from whatever hell your mother has been keeping them in.

By the time daylight broke out, Carmilla has exhausted her brain on trying to figure out how or why her mother has brought her back. She used whatever's left of her energy to take herself back in their room in a puff of black smoke.

"Oh, hey," Laura greeted her without missing a beat as she went around the room getting ready. "You're out late."

The vampire grumbled in response as she dropped her whole body weight to her bed.

"Well, I'm going to class. And Elizabeth came in her earlier and brought some cupcakes, cookies, and brownies. Also, macarons. Which are heavenly. I don't know where she got them from," Laura was talking with a mouthful, "but yeah. Bye!" She said before heading out the door, taking another macaron with her.

Carmilla groaned even more but her mind had already taken over and she said good bye to the waking world.

 

 

When Carmilla awoke, she mindlessly walked towards the fridge and poured herself some of her 'soy milk' and went back to her bed. She looked at the boxes of baked sweets on top of her dresser properly labeled in impressive cursive namely: Cupcakes, Cookies, Macarons. She eyed them curiously. Were they poisoned? If so, why haven't Laura been affected yet? Does it have a tracking device in it?

Out of sheer curiosity, at least that's what she told herself, Carmilla opened up the box labeled 'Macarons' with a smiley face. Hmmm. Menacing. As soon as the rich smell of the macarons reached her nose, her eyes closed dreamily. They brought her back to France in the 1800s and that was more than enough to get the vampire to grab a chocolate colored one.

"Hmmmm," she moaned as she bit into it, the angelic chocolate taste rolled her lids closed. Goddamn these were delicious.

It felt like 1872 and the first snow had just fallen. She had come to meet up with Laura and brought her pink tulips and a box of macarons. She caught her standing outside the cafe, looking up at the night sky. She was about to make her lover go back inside and admonish her for staying in the cold but she was shushed.

Laura had taken her hand without looking down as if she knew exactly where to find it. Their hands had a weird thing like that, they always felt like they belonged to each other. Laura had made her stand beside her and begrudgingly, she looked up, too. "Ma belle," she started, "what are we looking at?"

Laura had smiled widely then, childish gleam in her eyes that made stars envy their luminosity. "The first snow," she whispered softly, not taking her eyes from the heavens above. And as if the sky had only been waiting for their cue to enter the stage, the softest snow began to fall. The smell permeated the air and a few more people had stopped in their tracks and some actually had come out to observe it.

They waited for a few moments outside, snow catching on their hair and faces. Laura had stuck her tongue out and laughed. Carmilla did not know when they had begun dancing despite the cobblestones and their long skirts as their laughter rang through the night. In that moment, they were in a perfect snow globe that Carmilla would be more than willing to be trapped in.  

 

 

"Hey, Carm," came a voice that shook Carmilla out of that memory. She cleared her throat, realizing that she still had a half-eaten macaron on her hand. Too late to hide that now.

"Oh, hey, buttercup." She responded before dutifully swallowing the rest of the macaron.

"It's good, isn't it?" Laura was already at her desk, turning on her computer.

"Yes, uh-huh." Carmilla downed the rest of her drink and placed the cup at the sink. She wasn't about to dwell on what that macaron tasted like. She was certain her mother was behind this.

"So..." Laura started, turning on her chair to face Carmilla. "Uh, what happened with the whole vampire fainting thing? I thought you guys were practically invincible. What are you, anemic or something?"

Carmilla rolled her eyes at this. To be honest, she didn't know either. "I don't know, I was just... tired or something."

"Sure, you were."

Before either duo could finish the argument, a knock came at the door.

"Would you look at that, somebody still knows how a door works." Carmilla commented sarcastically before opening the door.

"Hi," said Elizabeth abashedly. "I, uh, got some flowers and uhm, chocolates and cocoa." She was looking down on the floor because suddenly, those tiles needed cleaning.

Carmilla watched her blush and then her stomach did that flip thing she refused to acknowledge and her heart had a weird ache in it and just before she could think she was having a heart attack, she had to stop because this is the middle of war and her mother had just unleashed one of her most powerful weapons and Carmilla needed to be stronger than that.

She had Laura to protect.

"Thanks, but, uhh, I don't like flowers."

"Oh," she said, disappointed and feeling foolish. "Sorry." She apologized again, still looking down. "Can you just, uhm, please give the cocoa to Laura? Thank you." She extended her hands, hoping Carmilla would take the weight off of them so she can stop standing there looking stupid.

"Hi, Liz! Here, I'll take that," Laura said, squishing herself in between Carmilla and Elizabeth. "Oh wow, tulips! Thanks. This will surely brighten up our gloomy," she looked pointedly at Carmilla, "room." She looked at the beautiful, sullen girl and smiled genuinely. "Thank you, really. I'm sure Carmilla appreciates it, too. She's just a little shy." She finished, nudging her roommate to say something.

"Yes, thank you. But I'm feeling tired now, I must retire. Bye!" Carmilla said before closing the door on their wonderful guest.

Laura was fuming. "HOW DARE YOU." She began unpacking the chocolates and hot cocoa to place it on top of their mini fridge.

"What crawled up your ancient butt?" Laura has had it with Carmilla's weird behavior and she needed to show some respect towards Elizabeth. Yes, she didn't like her at first, but she likes her now that she's gotten to know her and she's a really sweet girl. "If you don't want to have friends, that's fine. But I do."

Carmilla huffed. "You don't know her." She sulked at the corner, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"And neither do you.” Laura continued to arrange Elizabeth’s numerous peace offerings as she kept talking. “I know you’re usually this snippy towards people but don’t scare her away from being friends with me.”

"You don't know everything, Laura. You're naive. You don't know who she is. Don't be so trusting."

"Maybe I am naive, but at least I'm not closing my door on a great friendship from someone I barely know. Four centuries of being alive in this earth and you still don’t know what it’s like to be human. Do you know what hell she's been through?"

"Oh, trust me, I know what going through hell is." Laura stood straighter, her demeanor somehow taller.

"You're not the only one who suffers, Carmilla. Yes, your Mother is evil, yes, she killed the only girl you've ever loved and I’m not trying to marginalize that. But that's not an excuse for you to be a dick. Life isn't a contest on who suffers most. We're all just trying to get by." With that, Laura left, slamming the door behind her.

Her words stung as Carmilla flung herself into darkness. She found herself on the same place she’s been vacating for a couple of weeks now. The coldness was stronger and instead of comforting her, it was making her feel strangled. Angry tears scorched their way down her face. Her Mother didn't just kill Ell, she violated her memories, and now she's using her as a weapon. She's got her once. It's about time Carmilla tried to save her again and actually succeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: title from My Chemical Romance, Thank You For the Venom


End file.
